The Palmer Report
No. 1, GOSHES
Broadcast Jan. 7, 1974
One of the nice things about a radio station like KTW is the opportunity to personally contact major national figures. One learns so much more about the men and women controlling our lives than is possible through television or newspaper press releases. A prime example was a week ago Saturday, when Sally Hill and member of her audience interviewed William Simon, the energy whiz. Listening to that interview, I was shocked by only one thing he said. It was, and I quote, "Oh, golly." What! I said to myself! The man who controls the gas in my car and the fuel oil in my furnace says "oh, golly!"? How can I have any faith in a man who says golly? And then it occurred to me, maybe Simon's just following semantic orders? Or maybe, like an adopted child, he's unconsciously taking on the appearance and style of his foster father? Is the President of the United States saying 'golly' when he talks to Breshnev on the hotline? Does he say 'goshes' like Dondi when he chats with Mao, or 'gee willikers' when he reads his Washington Post? Is this the kind of conversation going on in the White House these days?
Hiya Rosemary? Gee whiz, what's the trouble, bubble? You look uptight!
Leaping/ Lizards, Mr. President, I…I don't know how to tell you…
For gosh sakes, Rose, why the bummer?
Jeez, it's that tape you laid on me! I accidentally offed part of it!
Holy smoke! I mean, jeeper's creepers! Erased it?! Wow! No foolin'?
Cross my heart and hop to die, Mr. P.!! Eighteen minutes worth!
Gosh, this could be the nertz, ya know? What do you think, Gerry?
Jiminy Christmas, Mr. President!! Jeez Louise!!
My thoughts exactly, Gerry. Jumpin' jehosofat, as Butz says.
Gott im himmel, mein President, I've got the solution!
Out with it, Henry!
Why don't we chust edit in the tape of this conversation before anybody get's wise! What do you think, mein President?
The point here is simple: Are we going to be led by a group of people who talk like Miss America finalists? Can our national image take another three years of such crimenentalies against the state?
This is Greg Palmer.